When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Firstly of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Normal issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. In the present day we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re fascinated with a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private resolution, however should you’re any form of an everyday drinker (which means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the best way you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. For those who’re not consuming throughout the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for at the very least 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely is just not doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any concept how shitty you actually really feel once you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes a couple of weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually is determined by what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see should you may make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or have been you in search of actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you already know you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is basically what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. For those who spend numerous time bargaining with your self every time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in numerous “guidelines” round your consuming, you may need to take a step again.

You won’t even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply turn into a part of your internal chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so forth.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my consuming have been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down every day, and that form of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You may simply resolve that it’s not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I shouldn’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra conscious strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions needs to be explored when fascinated with alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the assumption that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and reasonable, mannequin to make use of on the subject of speaking about alcohol is the concept of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t must hit any kind of a all-time low earlier than you possibly can discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

For those who’re able to get trustworthy with the function alcohol performs in your life, I’d recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested in your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our buddies have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you’ve gotten ideas/suggestions for the best way to make this a part of my life-style with my consuming buddies? 

Krysty: You may want to search out new buddies – haha. However, severely, if your folks really respect and assist you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly attempting to push you to begin consuming once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, you then may must rethink who you’re spending time with. You should work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve got, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – you then may want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most primary sober particular person round – and I’m pleased with consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing just a little extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. For those who’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s form of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam